1
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,874
This is the slowest dinner
rush we've ever had.
2
00:00:12,058 --> 00:00:13,682
Ooh, the city must have taken down
3
00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,977
your "Last Sandwich
for 40 Miles" sign.
4
00:00:17,011 --> 00:00:20,012
Oh! This sandwich is amazing.
5
00:00:20,046 --> 00:00:22,546
It's a pesto mayonnaise
with a smoked turkey
6
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:24,513
and a fancy cheese
I've never heard of.
7
00:00:24,547 --> 00:00:27,713
I know it's fancy,
because it's not spray on.
8
00:00:27,747 --> 00:00:29,848
Where did you get that?
9
00:00:29,882 --> 00:00:32,515
At the new place down the street,
The Late Nite Bite.
10
00:00:32,550 --> 00:00:34,681
It's super close.
We can go there all the time.
11
00:00:34,716 --> 00:00:37,450
The only problem is
it's super packed.
12
00:00:38,385 --> 00:00:40,252
Not like this place.
13
00:00:41,854 --> 00:00:45,956
There's another sandwich shop
on Waverly Place? Competition?
14
00:00:45,991 --> 00:00:49,358
There's no competition.
Let me try that.
15
00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:56,596
Mmm. Mmm. There's no competition.
16
00:01:02,269 --> 00:01:03,836
Mmmm.
17
00:01:03,869 --> 00:01:06,837
This sandwich is even
better than pizza.
18
00:01:06,871 --> 00:01:09,772
Can I have it back, please?
19
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:11,974
Jerry, maybe we should
send somebody down there
20
00:01:12,008 --> 00:01:13,142
to check it out, huh?
21
00:01:15,111 --> 00:01:16,344
I'll go.
22
00:01:16,478 --> 00:01:20,681
No, no, no. I'll go.
I need a new sandwich, anyway.
23
00:01:20,716 --> 00:01:23,316
We only send you on
missions of destruction.
24
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:26,050
Max we send to confuse people.
25
00:01:26,084 --> 00:01:30,253
For research and surveillance,
Justin's our guy.
26
00:01:31,189 --> 00:01:33,222
OK. I've got just the decoy.
27
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:35,658
I'll speak with an
Australian accent.
28
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,524
"G'day, mate. I'd like to try
29
00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:41,227
one of your shrimp on the
barbie sandy-wiches... mate."
30
00:01:41,262 --> 00:01:42,361
Hmm?
31
00:01:44,597 --> 00:01:46,898
No, that's not an
Australian accent.
32
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:51,068
I'm a master of voices. Listen.
33
00:01:55,172 --> 00:01:58,408
"I'd like to try your shrimp
on the barbie sandy-wich...
34
00:01:59,343 --> 00:02:00,844
...mate."
35
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:07,716
That's not an accent. That's
your lame Jim Carrey impression.
36
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,084
Yeah, but you knew who it was.
37
00:02:11,352 --> 00:02:13,754
It's gonna be in my one-man
show when school starts.
38
00:02:13,788 --> 00:02:17,257
I'm gonna work on my
impressions all summer.
39
00:02:17,292 --> 00:02:19,692
All summer long, huh?
40
00:02:21,061 --> 00:02:25,864
All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy.
41
00:02:30,202 --> 00:02:32,536
Jack Nicholson.
42
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:36,439
Oh, I got one. OK. Um...
43
00:02:36,474 --> 00:02:40,510
All summer with no Max
makes Alex a happy girl.
44
00:02:41,879 --> 00:02:43,547
Alex Russo.
45
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,150
Well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze
46
00:02:48,452 --> 00:02:50,119
And the end will no doubt
justify the means
47
00:02:50,654 --> 00:02:51,987
You can fix any problem with
the slightest of ease
48
00:02:52,021 --> 00:02:53,821
Yes please
49
00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:55,689
But you might find out it'll
go to your head
50
00:02:56,357 --> 00:02:57,590
When you write a report on a
book you never read
51
00:02:58,224 --> 00:03:00,191
With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed
52
00:03:00,225 --> 00:03:01,725
That's what I said
53
00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:04,927
Everything is not
what it seems
54
00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:08,764
When you can get all you wanted
in your wildest dreams
55
00:03:08,798 --> 00:03:12,568
You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes
56
00:03:12,602 --> 00:03:16,437
Because everything is
not what it seems
57
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:20,140
Everything is not
what it seems
58
00:03:20,174 --> 00:03:24,243
When you can have what you want
by the simplest of means
59
00:03:24,277 --> 00:03:27,945
Be careful not to mess with
the balance of things
60
00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:32,115
Because everything is not...
61
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,818
What it seems
62
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:49,628
As expected,
the place is very busy.
63
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,397
Aha!
64
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:55,866
They're open 24 hours.
65
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,968
I don't know why I said "Aha."
66
00:04:01,771 --> 00:04:04,272
Oh! There's one of their menus.
67
00:04:07,611 --> 00:04:10,480
You know there are take-out menus.
68
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,085
If you want a copy,
the trash can out front
69
00:04:14,119 --> 00:04:15,686
probably has 20 of them.
70
00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:19,723
I take photographs of menus.
71
00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:26,864
I'm an artist.
An Australian menu artist.
72
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,667
Love your variety of sandy-wiches.
73
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:35,005
I'm so on board with your
whole Australian thing
74
00:04:35,039 --> 00:04:37,240
until you said, "sandy-wiches."
75
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:40,543
They don't say that?
76
00:04:41,879 --> 00:04:44,247
I'm... I'm sorry.
77
00:04:44,281 --> 00:04:47,516
Don't be sorry.
I like fake accents.
78
00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,852
I also like fake mustaches.
79
00:04:49,886 --> 00:04:53,789
Oh, my gosh. I have one.
I knew I should have worn it.
80
00:04:54,891 --> 00:04:57,159
It's OK. I was kind of kidding.
81
00:04:57,193 --> 00:05:01,563
Oh. Um... I'm Justin.
82
00:05:01,598 --> 00:05:04,100
I'm Juliet.
83
00:05:04,134 --> 00:05:06,269
Sorry.
84
00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:08,437
Want to hear about our special?
85
00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:11,339
I think I'm looking at it.
86
00:05:12,872 --> 00:05:14,906
Oh, was that smooth?
87
00:05:15,975 --> 00:05:18,243
You kinda ruined it
by talking about it.
88
00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:21,345
You're still cute, though.
89
00:05:22,748 --> 00:05:26,151
Juliet, you didn't tell me
we had a special visitor.
90
00:05:26,185 --> 00:05:30,755
Pardon me. Aren't you the young man
who works at Waverly Sub Station?
91
00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:34,225
Oh, I got a sandwich
there last week.
92
00:05:34,259 --> 00:05:37,595
Yeah, I was on a rather bland diet
93
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,563
and you guys really
got me through it.
94
00:05:39,598 --> 00:05:42,366
- Thank you.
- I'm Justin Russo.
95
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,569
- Oh.
- And...
96
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,172
Lovely dress.
97
00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:51,074
I've always thought people
should get dressed up
98
00:05:51,108 --> 00:05:52,442
to make sandwiches.
99
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,779
Out of respect for
the profession...
100
00:05:57,081 --> 00:05:59,582
...of sandwich making.
101
00:05:59,616 --> 00:06:03,486
Ooh. Insincere compliments.
102
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:07,790
Well, I see the game is afoot.
103
00:06:07,824 --> 00:06:10,859
"Insincere," huh?
I knew you didn't like this dress.
104
00:06:10,894 --> 00:06:13,028
Mm-hm?
105
00:06:13,062 --> 00:06:16,664
Juliet, this boy is here to
spy on our establishment.
106
00:06:16,698 --> 00:06:20,234
He's not spying, Daddy.
He's very nice.
107
00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:23,236
He was just videotaping
our menu for his...
108
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:26,439
You know, things are not
looking good for you.
109
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,908
I'm afraid, Justin Russo,
110
00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:31,043
that I'm going to have
to ask you to leave.
111
00:06:31,078 --> 00:06:34,112
If don't, the consequences
will be most horrible
112
00:06:34,147 --> 00:06:36,081
and permanent!
113
00:06:36,115 --> 00:06:39,617
Oh, honey, what did we say
about the hand gestures?
114
00:06:39,651 --> 00:06:41,417
Not in the restaurant.
115
00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:43,752
There you go.
116
00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:48,491
Here, take this.
117
00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:50,593
But this has someone's
phone number on it.
118
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:54,397
Yeah. It's the cute girl who
works at Late Nite Bite.
119
00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:58,401
Oh. I like her.
120
00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:06,076
The right side of the take-out
menu lists the specials.
121
00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:08,745
Fangs-giving Turkey plate.
122
00:07:08,779 --> 00:07:10,880
The Count of Monte CristoSandwi.
123
00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:15,751
on... "garlic style" bread.
124
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,888
Justin, isn't that all
stuff from the menu?
125
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,790
Why'd you write it
on the white board?
126
00:07:21,991 --> 00:07:25,093
You sent me on a spy mission,
and I'm debriefing you.
127
00:07:25,127 --> 00:07:29,264
Without the board we're just
sitting around looking at menus.
128
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,302
Hold up. "Garlic style?
" "Open all night?"
129
00:07:34,336 --> 00:07:38,306
"Count?" "Fangs?" They're vampires!
130
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:43,077
The Van Heusens are vampires?
131
00:07:43,111 --> 00:07:46,547
That's why they had fangs.
132
00:07:46,582 --> 00:07:48,883
Thought it was just a theme.
133
00:07:50,685 --> 00:07:53,787
We've got a vampire
war on our hands.
134
00:07:55,156 --> 00:07:57,191
Hasta la vista, baby!
135
00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:01,362
That was the Terminator!
136
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,198
All right, he's gone.
We should pack up and move.
137
00:08:10,905 --> 00:08:13,573
All right. So they're vampires?
138
00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:16,343
It doesn't mean we can't
beat them at their own game.
139
00:08:16,377 --> 00:08:20,246
What do they got?
A castle dungeon theme?
140
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,915
We've got a subway station theme.
141
00:08:22,949 --> 00:08:25,384
All we have to do
is make people feel
142
00:08:25,418 --> 00:08:28,019
like they're really in a New
York City subway station
143
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:29,320
when they come in here.
144
00:08:29,688 --> 00:08:31,688
You know, complete the
experience for them.
145
00:08:31,722 --> 00:08:34,289
I'll just write that down on the
white board and make it official.
146
00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:37,059
I get it.
147
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,929
We can move the turnstiles by
the bathrooms to the front door.
148
00:08:40,963 --> 00:08:42,763
It'll create a line outside,
149
00:08:42,864 --> 00:08:46,033
make the place look busy,
like those discotheques do.
150
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,435
"Discotheques?"
151
00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:52,706
This could be the worst
family meeting ever.
152
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,043
No. No. It's coming together.
153
00:08:56,077 --> 00:09:00,613
Late Nite Bite, you don't
know what bear you just poked.
154
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:10,891
- I'm the bear.
- Oh.
155
00:09:13,663 --> 00:09:16,264
Alex, I need to speak to you.
156
00:09:18,134 --> 00:09:19,835
I've got a date with
Juliet Van Heusen
157
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,836
and I need your help
sneaking around Mom and Dad.
158
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:24,004
Well, you came to the right place.
159
00:09:24,038 --> 00:09:25,872
You don't want to be caught
dating the competition.
160
00:09:25,906 --> 00:09:27,707
- What do I do?
- Use magic.
161
00:09:27,742 --> 00:09:29,409
- That's it?
- Would you have thought of it?
162
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,612
- Nope.
- OK then.
163
00:09:31,646 --> 00:09:34,615
If there's nothing else,
I've got to get started on my plan
164
00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:36,917
for getting Max and those
annoying impressions
165
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,618
out of the house for the summer.
166
00:09:38,653 --> 00:09:40,320
"I'll be back."
167
00:09:40,354 --> 00:09:43,255
No, you won't, Max. No, you won't.
168
00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:56,165
Waverly Sub Station.
Next stop, delicious.
169
00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:05,306
OK, and here we are.
170
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:07,574
Can we eat now?
171
00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:11,578
Not yet, sir. First a
little subway entertainment.
172
00:10:11,613 --> 00:10:12,746
Harper, you're on.
173
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,215
And a one, two three...
174
00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:19,652
I love sandwiches.
175
00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:22,956
Why do they call them sandwiches?
176
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,325
They're not made out of sand.
They're not made by witches.
177
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,227
What is the deal?
178
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,630
Jerry Seinfeld.
179
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,934
Please, can I just get some coffee?
180
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,904
Ah... I'll get that for you, sir.
181
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:42,341
Oh, and you'll get yours,
too, buddy.
182
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,847
So Romeo,
183
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,582
did you figure out how you're
using magic to date Juliet?
184
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,585
Yep. I added five minutes
to the break schedule.
185
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,556
Now when we date,
it'll be for 25 minutes at a time.
186
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,096
You used magic to do this...?
187
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:16,442
Justin, you could have used
magic to... to stop time,
188
00:11:16,477 --> 00:11:19,111
freeze Mom and Dad so
they can't find you,
189
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:22,315
create an alternate universe
where you and Juliet can date
190
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,352
for a year, but it'd only
be a minute of our time.
191
00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:27,854
Something big and magical.
192
00:11:27,889 --> 00:11:31,925
I also used it to grow two inches.
193
00:11:33,294 --> 00:11:36,396
You are a wiz-idiot.
194
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,898
You know what?
195
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,267
You use magic your way,
I'm gonna use it my way.
196
00:11:40,301 --> 00:11:42,536
Fine, I will.
197
00:11:44,472 --> 00:11:46,039
There.
198
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:49,710
Now you're two inches shorter,
just like you used to be.
199
00:11:49,744 --> 00:11:52,146
What's up, shorty?
200
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,505
That was the best nightmare ever.
201
00:12:51,199 --> 00:12:52,366
Hi, Justin.
202
00:12:53,668 --> 00:12:56,836
Wait, you only have 25
minutes for the whole date?
203
00:12:56,871 --> 00:13:00,006
No, OK. We can just
skip the awkward part
204
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,707
and you can hold my hand.
205
00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:06,011
Yeah, I guess that
was kind of awkward.
206
00:13:06,879 --> 00:13:08,780
Hey, got it over with.
207
00:13:08,814 --> 00:13:11,148
All right. See you outside.
208
00:13:25,662 --> 00:13:27,295
Ahh!
209
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,330
AB Positive.
210
00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:48,582
Uh, Juliet?
211
00:13:48,616 --> 00:13:52,018
Yeah, hi. Where do you
think you're going?
212
00:13:52,053 --> 00:13:56,055
Um... I... I was just going
213
00:13:56,089 --> 00:13:59,357
to go wreak havoc
on innocent mortals.
214
00:13:59,391 --> 00:14:01,325
Oh!
215
00:14:01,359 --> 00:14:04,327
Oh, well, good, honey.
Fabulous. Have fun.
216
00:14:05,796 --> 00:14:07,263
Juliet?
217
00:14:09,032 --> 00:14:11,800
If you're sneaking out
to see that Russo boy,
218
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,234
you'll be grounded.
219
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,837
And I mean, in the ground,
this time.
220
00:14:17,772 --> 00:14:20,439
Oh, Daddy, go back to dead.
221
00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:25,377
Wait a minute!
222
00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,447
I know what you're doing.
223
00:14:28,581 --> 00:14:31,049
You're sneaking out to do something
your mother wouldn't approve of,
224
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:34,986
like getting a
frozen hot chocolate.
225
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:36,554
I'm coming with you!
226
00:14:36,588 --> 00:14:39,290
Go ahead, sneak around,
eat whatever you want...
227
00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:41,525
like I don't notice
how we can't fit into
228
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,026
a queen-sized coffin anymore?
229
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:47,193
Fine. I'll switch to blood light.
230
00:14:52,095 --> 00:14:53,896
Oh, sweetie, on your way home
231
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:55,397
could you pick up some detergent?
232
00:14:55,865 --> 00:14:57,732
Your father keeps wiping
his fangs on his cape,
233
00:14:57,767 --> 00:15:00,267
because he's a
little vampire piggy.
234
00:15:00,302 --> 00:15:03,603
- I heard that!
- You were meant to.
235
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:16,013
Hey, Justin, I don't think
going through the graveyard
236
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,648
is a shortcut to the movies.
237
00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:21,784
But it is, because you tend to
walk faster through a graveyard.
238
00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:29,156
I mean, unless you
actually like graveyards.
239
00:15:29,191 --> 00:15:30,658
Do you?
240
00:15:30,692 --> 00:15:33,927
Well, not really as
much as you seem to.
241
00:15:33,961 --> 00:15:38,530
I'm totally... totally cool with
the whole graveyard situation.
242
00:15:40,033 --> 00:15:44,368
You know what? We have,
uh... we have some time to... "kill."
243
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,304
Well, yeah, I guess we could
hang out here for a while.
244
00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:49,306
Aha! You said, "hang."
245
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,607
Most people say, "sit,
" but you said, "hang."
246
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:56,045
Nobody says, "you could
sit out here for a while."
247
00:15:56,079 --> 00:15:59,047
Oh, I get what's happening.
248
00:15:59,082 --> 00:16:01,550
This is the awkward part we talked about,
before we hold hands.
249
00:16:01,584 --> 00:16:03,251
Let's do it. Here...
250
00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:06,088
Oh, should we do the interlocking
fingers or the hand in hand?
251
00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:08,724
Ooh... Which one's less sweaty?
252
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:13,529
We're...
253
00:16:13,563 --> 00:16:19,334
So, um... I'm not sure about
this movie we're gonna see.
254
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:24,240
I don't think there will be enough,
uh... blood in it for me.
255
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,275
It's a romantic comedy.
256
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:30,513
No, I'm just saying I'm
totally fine with blood.
257
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,949
It's not a thing. Aren't you?
258
00:16:32,983 --> 00:16:37,586
No. Hey, I was wondering if we
could grab a bite after the movie?
259
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,719
- Aha!
- Aha what?
260
00:16:39,753 --> 00:16:42,654
- You said, "bite!"
- Yeah, I also said "kill"
261
00:16:42,688 --> 00:16:45,924
and "hang," which seem
to be important to you.
262
00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:48,293
Pss! Pss! Pss!
263
00:16:48,327 --> 00:16:51,563
- You know, I don't got any...
- And sleep!
264
00:16:51,598 --> 00:16:52,964
Marvin, what are you doing here?
265
00:16:53,199 --> 00:16:55,697
Ooh! I see you brought us a snack!
266
00:16:55,732 --> 00:16:57,797
No, he's not a snack, he's my date.
267
00:16:57,832 --> 00:16:59,265
We're going to the movies.
268
00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:01,399
Ooh! Make sure he
eats a lot of popcorn.
269
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:03,801
I like my blood buttery.
270
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:08,639
Marvin, you heard her.
She's on a date. Leave her alone.
271
00:17:08,673 --> 00:17:11,375
Hey, Juliet.
How's your mom and dad?
272
00:17:11,409 --> 00:17:13,711
Is she still trying
to play the piano?
273
00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:18,115
I haven't seen them in centuries.
274
00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,917
Yeah, they're pretty much
275
00:17:19,952 --> 00:17:21,686
the same, you know..
276
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,089
Dad tries to be scary
and mom calms him down.
277
00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:26,691
Nothing's really changed.
278
00:17:26,725 --> 00:17:28,492
But you guys have to go!
279
00:17:30,061 --> 00:17:33,093
- Awake.
- ...problem with dead things.
280
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:35,796
Do you?
281
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,233
Yeah, the place gives
me the creeps. Let's go.
282
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,367
Yeah, it's kinda scary.
283
00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:42,703
Bye, Mary! Bye Marvin!
284
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:55,348
OK, that'll be $6.50 out of...
285
00:17:55,382 --> 00:17:59,452
one million dollars.
286
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,989
Doctor Evil.
287
00:18:05,357 --> 00:18:07,356
Austin Powers.
288
00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:16,830
And that's the definition
of the word, "definition."
289
00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:22,201
What would be the definition
of the word, "word?"
290
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:26,137
Where have you been all my life?
291
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:30,472
If I told you, you probably
wouldn't believe me.
292
00:18:32,008 --> 00:18:36,310
Juliet, I, uh...
I know you're a vampire.
293
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:39,545
OK, so you probably
would believe me.
294
00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:43,981
And while we're on the subject,
I know you're a wizard.
295
00:18:44,016 --> 00:18:45,984
I can tell by your scent.
296
00:18:46,018 --> 00:18:50,157
Sorry... I've been slicing ham.
297
00:18:53,294 --> 00:18:56,396
No. your wizard scent.
Part brick, part pine needle.
298
00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:58,798
Vampires have a
strong sense of smell.
299
00:18:58,832 --> 00:19:01,634
Stronger than werewolves,
but people don't want to get past the fangs
300
00:19:01,668 --> 00:19:03,769
and the blood drinking
to learn the specifics.
301
00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:09,374
You know, you're not how I
expected vampires to be.
302
00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:15,012
Well, that's because my parents wanted
me to fit in better d gave me a soul.
303
00:19:15,047 --> 00:19:16,814
I have feelings.
304
00:19:16,848 --> 00:19:18,749
And what do your feelings tell you?
305
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:21,084
That we should do this again.
306
00:19:22,719 --> 00:19:25,754
But... Your parents don't like me.
307
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:28,923
And my parents wouldn't like it if I was
going out with a competitor's daughter.
308
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:32,328
I'm sorry. I don't care what Mommy
and Dad have to say about this.
309
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,495
I am going to tell them about you.
310
00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:38,134
You know what? I'm going
to tell my parents, too.
311
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:41,836
Then we can have a date that lasts
longer than my 25-minute break from work.
312
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:44,338
It was fun. I've never
gone to the movies
313
00:19:44,373 --> 00:19:47,274
just to see the coming
attractions before.
314
00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:50,411
Although we could have
gotten a smaller popcorn.
315
00:19:50,445 --> 00:19:53,447
Hey, the fun part was you.
316
00:19:56,051 --> 00:19:58,653
I don't wa to say goodbye.
317
00:19:58,687 --> 00:20:00,955
Neither do I.
318
00:20:00,989 --> 00:20:06,060
OK, how about we count to
three and turn and walk away.
319
00:20:06,094 --> 00:20:09,762
You said "Count."
320
00:20:14,702 --> 00:20:18,071
- "Count?"
- Good one.
321
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:19,973
OK, I gotta go.
322
00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:21,975
I'd hug you, but I don't want
to get my wizard scent on you
323
00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:23,877
before you tell your parents.
324
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,679
Thinking!
325
00:20:25,713 --> 00:20:29,349
How about, um,
I give you a mind hug?
326
00:20:29,383 --> 00:20:33,053
OK. I'll give you one, too.
327
00:20:34,555 --> 00:20:37,691
Oh... That's nice.
328
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:41,665
Romeo, Juliet, let's wrap
it up with the looky-looks.
329
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,930
Oh, hey, Oprah.
330
00:20:44,964 --> 00:20:46,935
That's not Oprah. That's Alex.
331
00:20:46,969 --> 00:20:50,904
No, that's Oprah. She comes
in and orrs the Nosfera-Tuna.
332
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,809
It's hilarious when
they call out "Oprah"
333
00:20:53,843 --> 00:20:56,246
and everybody looks
around and it's just me.
334
00:20:57,182 --> 00:20:58,850
Oh, that's never not funny.
335
00:21:05,892 --> 00:21:09,928
Ah! Harper. u're getting
really good at that.
336
00:21:09,962 --> 00:21:11,296
I am?
337
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:15,065
No. Of course not.
This whole subway theme is stupid.
338
00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:21,304
Mom, Dad, I've gotta talk to
you about the Van Heusens.
339
00:21:21,338 --> 00:21:23,105
Have you figured out
a way to destroy them
340
00:21:23,373 --> 00:21:26,040
and send them into t
bowels of the Earth?
341
00:21:26,074 --> 00:21:29,811
No, actually. Not all the
Van Heusens are evil.
342
00:21:29,846 --> 00:21:32,082
What? They have stolen
all our business
343
00:21:32,117 --> 00:21:34,650
and forced us into
this subway nonsense.
344
00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:37,453
I've hated that car since
I rst heard someone
345
00:21:37,487 --> 00:21:41,057
at an auction say, "Sold.
To the guy eating a sandwich."
346
00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:44,258
I got a great deal.
They included the tow.
347
00:21:45,828 --> 00:21:47,794
The Van Heusens are evil.
348
00:21:47,829 --> 00:21:49,963
And so is anybody relad to them,
349
00:21:49,997 --> 00:21:51,765
friends with them,
or eats at their restaurant.
350
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:55,570
Now, what did you want
to tell us, honey?
351
00:21:55,604 --> 00:21:59,474
That... uh...
352
00:21:59,508 --> 00:22:03,245
the average temperature of an
igloo is 61 degrees Fahrenheit
353
00:22:03,279 --> 00:22:06,183
when there's people in it.
That's ice!
354
00:22:06,217 --> 00:22:09,788
That's nice, sweetie.
Maybe someday you can grow up,
355
00:22:09,822 --> 00:22:15,528
buy an igloo at an auction and build a
whole restaurant around it, just like your father.
356
00:22:15,562 --> 00:22:17,629
I am an entrepreneur!
357
00:22:17,664 --> 00:22:22,034
Dude! you can't come
clean about Juliet.
358
00:22:22,068 --> 00:22:24,404
When they find out,
there's gonna be chaos.
359
00:22:24,805 --> 00:22:28,640
And that's the chaos I'm going to need to
cover my plan to send Max away for the summer.
360
00:22:28,674 --> 00:22:32,643
There's this magical, underwater
seahorse ranch th's all filled up,
361
00:22:32,678 --> 00:22:36,013
but I've got him slowly
moving up that wait list...
362
00:22:37,081 --> 00:22:40,585
Giddy-up, Max. Giddy-up!
363
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:46,624
Justin, I told my parents.
364
00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:48,892
Wow, that was quick.
365
00:22:48,926 --> 00:22:51,227
Didn't take long to say,
"I like Justin."
366
00:22:51,261 --> 00:22:53,495
And for them to say, "What?!"
367
00:22:53,530 --> 00:22:54,897
How did your parents take it?
368
00:22:54,931 --> 00:22:57,298
Yeah, um...
369
00:22:57,333 --> 00:22:59,433
I'm gonna need another day with it.
370
00:22:59,468 --> 00:23:01,802
I don't think you're going
to have another day.
371
00:23:01,836 --> 00:23:04,404
You might have another five
seconds to squeeze it in.
372
00:23:04,438 --> 00:23:05,938
What are you talking about?
373
00:23:09,442 --> 00:23:12,777
We've come to reclaim our daughter!
374
00:23:16,481 --> 00:23:18,282
Yeah.
375
00:23:19,651 --> 00:23:23,153
- Who are you?
- Alucard Van Heusen.
376
00:23:23,187 --> 00:23:26,489
And this is my wife, Cindy. Hi.
377
00:23:27,591 --> 00:23:30,059
Of all the sneaky tricks to use.
378
00:23:30,093 --> 00:23:33,629
Sending ur boy over to play
with my Juliet's affections.
379
00:23:33,663 --> 00:23:37,065
That is w, even for a wizard.
380
00:23:39,568 --> 00:23:42,603
Like six feet in the ground low?
Huh, vampire?
381
00:23:42,637 --> 00:23:45,372
Honey, you may want to
stay out of this one.
382
00:23:45,406 --> 00:23:49,943
Your husband's right.
You've unleashed the wrath of Alucard.
383
00:23:52,812 --> 00:23:56,547
Please pretend you're scared or I'll
have to hear about it all night.
384
00:23:57,549 --> 00:24:02,318
Prepare to meet your doom!
385
00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:04,621
Oh, look. Oprah's here.
386
00:24:04,655 --> 00:24:07,423
Hi, Al. Cindy.
387
00:24:08,892 --> 00:24:10,492
Well, let's cut to it.
388
00:24:10,526 --> 00:24:12,360
Your son needs to stay
away from our daughter.
389
00:24:13,028 --> 00:24:15,463
She doesn't know what she's doing.
Her fangs haven't even come in yet.
390
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:19,466
You're dating the competition?
391
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:22,235
How could you do this to us?
392
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:25,038
I might have expected
this from Alex, but you?
393
00:24:25,074 --> 00:24:28,909
What? Yeah, that's totally
something I would do.
394
00:24:32,812 --> 00:24:35,113
Dad, we really like each other.
395
00:24:35,151 --> 00:24:38,482
Oh, I get it.
396
00:24:38,517 --> 00:24:41,753
You sent your daughter here
to make him fall in love
397
00:24:41,787 --> 00:24:45,923
as part of your sick plan...
to destroy us.
398
00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:47,659
How would that destroy us?
399
00:24:49,461 --> 00:24:50,728
They're vampires!
400
00:24:52,131 --> 00:24:55,800
They're handsomer, smarter,
and more cunning than we are.
401
00:24:55,835 --> 00:25:00,905
They're like... shaved
wolves that can vote.
402
00:25:02,507 --> 00:25:05,142
Daddy, Mom, the moments
I've spent with Justin
403
00:25:05,176 --> 00:25:07,678
have been the best 25
minutes of my life.
404
00:25:09,114 --> 00:25:13,016
Well, those moments
are over. Come on.
405
00:25:15,887 --> 00:25:18,121
Daddy.
406
00:25:27,365 --> 00:25:30,401
Smarter than us, huh? Really?
407
00:25:41,004 --> 00:25:43,973
Excuse me. Can you
turn down that sound?
408
00:25:44,007 --> 00:25:47,576
Yeah, I get it. It's a subway.
I just want my coffee.
409
00:25:47,610 --> 00:25:51,345
Look, we're selling the experience
of being underground in a subway,
410
00:25:51,380 --> 00:25:55,482
and friendly, courteous service,
so shut up and enjoy it.
411
00:25:58,853 --> 00:26:01,221
I know what you're thinking,
412
00:26:01,255 --> 00:26:04,791
that I'm threatened by this new girl
that's become a part of Justin's life.
413
00:26:04,825 --> 00:26:07,960
Well, I'm not. He likes to
dabble with the exotic types,
414
00:26:07,994 --> 00:26:10,695
the werewolves,
the centaurs and the vampires.
415
00:26:10,729 --> 00:26:14,364
But "Old Steady" is
gonna win this race.
416
00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:18,101
Good for you, Harper.
417
00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:21,403
You want to know who Old
Steady is? This girl.
418
00:26:29,745 --> 00:26:31,312
Oh, Juliet.
419
00:26:32,848 --> 00:26:35,548
Oh, Justin.
420
00:26:38,185 --> 00:26:40,185
Juliet, what are you doing?
421
00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:45,022
Staring at nothing. 'Cause
that's all I have, is nothing.
422
00:26:45,057 --> 00:26:48,092
No, you're staring at a bat cage.
423
00:26:48,126 --> 00:26:50,027
OK, if you don't want me
to stare at a bat cage
424
00:26:50,061 --> 00:26:51,361
and you don't want
me to date Justin,
425
00:26:51,896 --> 00:26:52,929
I might as well stare at this wall.
426
00:26:53,364 --> 00:26:56,699
Whoo! I had no idea 2,
000 years of adolescence
427
00:26:56,734 --> 00:26:58,267
would be this difficult.
428
00:26:58,302 --> 00:27:01,069
Really, Juliet,
stop being so dramatic.
429
00:27:01,104 --> 00:27:03,972
Wonder where she gets that?
430
00:27:04,006 --> 00:27:06,976
And Juliet, if you don't
stop staring at this wall,
431
00:27:07,010 --> 00:27:09,643
I shall take a wrecking ball to it!
432
00:27:09,678 --> 00:27:13,180
I would actually like that.
Then I could see Justin through it!
433
00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:16,149
Sweetie, I know you're upset, I do.
434
00:27:16,183 --> 00:27:18,885
But I don't know why you're
so infatuated with him.
435
00:27:18,919 --> 00:27:22,254
He's fangless and has
no pasty complexion.
436
00:27:23,923 --> 00:27:26,958
OK, well you two have been
together for 10,000 years.
437
00:27:26,992 --> 00:27:30,294
You've forgotten how hard it
is to meet someone special.
438
00:27:30,328 --> 00:27:32,696
Well, don't worry about it,
darling.
439
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,130
You'll meet someone else.
440
00:27:34,265 --> 00:27:36,400
There are other bats in the cave.
441
00:27:38,969 --> 00:27:43,971
Yes, there are plenty of young dapper
fellows who come in here all the time.
442
00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:47,006
Well, look. Look at him.
He's perfect.
443
00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:48,741
- Him? No. No!
- Oh!
444
00:27:48,775 --> 00:27:50,176
- He's perfect!
- Not him.
445
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:52,145
Hello, young man. Yes, hi.
446
00:27:52,179 --> 00:27:55,116
I'd like to introduce you
to our daughter, Juliet.
447
00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:59,654
Great... I think this is diet.
448
00:27:59,688 --> 00:28:03,724
What are you guys trying to do? He's,
like, 45 years old.
449
00:28:03,758 --> 00:28:06,595
Yes, but you're 2000.
What difference does it make?
450
00:28:06,630 --> 00:28:09,398
He's not Justin.
That's the difference.
451
00:28:10,834 --> 00:28:13,668
I've been alive for a long time
and I've never felt this way.
452
00:28:13,703 --> 00:28:15,703
You can't just push someone on me.
453
00:28:15,738 --> 00:28:17,839
'Twas fate's dart
that found my Justin.
454
00:28:17,873 --> 00:28:20,476
Remember, you're a teenager.
455
00:28:20,511 --> 00:28:25,815
It was, like, totally, fate's dart
that found Justin and stuff, you know?
456
00:28:25,849 --> 00:28:28,217
We're done with this discussion.
457
00:28:28,251 --> 00:28:30,752
Get your mind off this
and get back to work.
458
00:28:30,787 --> 00:28:33,154
That man needs a regular soda!
459
00:28:33,189 --> 00:28:35,456
What's the point of working
if I don't have a future?
460
00:28:35,491 --> 00:28:38,526
If I can't be with Justin,
I'd rather die!
461
00:28:38,561 --> 00:28:39,794
Again!
462
00:28:39,828 --> 00:28:44,065
Oh! Oh! So dramatic!
463
00:28:50,739 --> 00:28:54,241
The specials today are...
464
00:28:54,276 --> 00:28:57,878
What am I talking about?
There's nothing special about today.
465
00:28:57,913 --> 00:29:00,214
There's nothing special
about tomorrow.
466
00:29:00,248 --> 00:29:02,916
There's nothing special ever.
467
00:29:09,991 --> 00:29:11,557
Oh, my gosh, Justin.
468
00:29:11,592 --> 00:29:14,126
You've got to get over
your 25-minute girlfriend.
469
00:29:16,029 --> 00:29:18,030
You know what I figured out?
470
00:29:18,065 --> 00:29:20,600
I fall in love fast.
471
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:23,069
But you know what's
different about this time?
472
00:29:23,103 --> 00:29:25,204
When I'm not with her...
473
00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:29,107
...my heart hurts.
474
00:29:34,348 --> 00:29:36,682
I believe you.
475
00:29:36,717 --> 00:29:39,284
Normally you pout for 30 minutes,
476
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,520
and then I wave an action
figure in front of your face
477
00:29:41,554 --> 00:29:42,754
and you're fine.
478
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:46,591
Not this time.
479
00:29:46,625 --> 00:29:49,594
This is one crime Captain Jim
Bob Sherwood can't solve.
480
00:29:49,628 --> 00:29:51,763
Oh my gosh, please come with me.
481
00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:59,036
OK. Put these on.
482
00:29:59,071 --> 00:30:02,907
- Why?
- Because I'm going to help you.
483
00:30:02,941 --> 00:30:05,142
Why?
484
00:30:05,177 --> 00:30:07,611
Because your sadness
grosses me out. OK?
485
00:30:11,917 --> 00:30:14,953
There. Now you and Juliet
can continue to date.
486
00:30:14,987 --> 00:30:20,258
While you have the glasses on, everybody
will see you as a completely different person.
487
00:30:23,562 --> 00:30:25,497
Oh, but those glasses
are on a loan.
488
00:30:25,531 --> 00:30:27,632
I'm going to need them
back at a moment's notice.
489
00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:29,734
Why?
490
00:30:29,768 --> 00:30:32,370
It's a part of my plan
to get rid of Max.
491
00:30:32,605 --> 00:30:36,173
There's this guy coming over whose kid is
number one on the wait-list for seahorse camp.
492
00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,776
He has to think I'm camp director.
493
00:30:39,711 --> 00:30:41,645
That didn't make any sense.
494
00:30:42,147 --> 00:30:45,049
That's why I need the glasses, dude. If
those words don't come out of a grown-up's mouth
495
00:30:45,084 --> 00:30:49,387
we're stuck with Jerry "the
Terminator" Seinfeld all summer.
496
00:30:49,421 --> 00:30:51,455
And I just can't...
497
00:30:56,461 --> 00:31:00,231
So there we were, yelling,
"The British are coming!"
498
00:31:00,265 --> 00:31:04,468
You were there, in 1776,
during the Revolutionary War?
499
00:31:04,502 --> 00:31:06,403
I thought it was just Paul Revere.
500
00:31:06,437 --> 00:31:08,505
Yeah, Paul "Check me
out over here" Revere.
501
00:31:08,540 --> 00:31:11,075
That guy was such an attention hog.
502
00:31:13,645 --> 00:31:18,515
Oh! Hey, it's true.
Vampires don't show up in mirrors.
503
00:31:18,549 --> 00:31:22,185
Yeah, doing our hair
is total guesswork.
504
00:31:22,219 --> 00:31:24,554
But hey, I mean...
505
00:31:26,123 --> 00:31:29,158
Look at Juliet with that new boy.
506
00:31:29,193 --> 00:31:31,060
They're so sweet together.
507
00:31:31,094 --> 00:31:33,462
Juliet really seems
to be enjoying him.
508
00:31:33,496 --> 00:31:35,163
I knew we did the right thing,
509
00:31:35,198 --> 00:31:38,601
keeping her away from
that Russo urchin.
510
00:31:38,635 --> 00:31:43,773
And you know I could have unleashed
my wrath on him any time I wanted to.
511
00:31:43,808 --> 00:31:45,876
I know, honey. OK.
512
00:31:48,513 --> 00:31:50,814
Oh, God!
513
00:31:55,419 --> 00:31:58,255
Psst! Justin, it's time.
Give me the glasses.
514
00:31:58,289 --> 00:32:00,824
Uh. I'm in the middle of something.
515
00:32:00,858 --> 00:32:03,993
Sheriff boy's father's here.
It's now or never.
516
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:12,935
Good luck, you two.
I'm rooting for you.
517
00:32:12,970 --> 00:32:15,771
Justin Russo!
518
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:19,441
A wizard trick.
519
00:32:19,475 --> 00:32:23,745
Juliet, get away from him.
We forbade you to see him.
520
00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:27,515
Sorry, sir. But I would never do anything
to harm your daughter or your business.
521
00:32:27,549 --> 00:32:32,921
We thought she was with a
nice boy from......school.
522
00:32:32,955 --> 00:32:36,157
That's what I've been trying
to tell you. He is a nice boy.
523
00:32:36,191 --> 00:32:38,726
There's no difference between
Justin and the boy you saw.
524
00:32:38,761 --> 00:32:40,495
Why can't you just let us be happy?
525
00:32:42,331 --> 00:32:44,365
With all due respect, Mr.
and Mrs. Van Heusen,
526
00:32:44,499 --> 00:32:46,900
this restaurant feud is
between you and my parents.
527
00:32:46,935 --> 00:32:49,136
Juliet and I have
nothing to do with it.
528
00:32:50,605 --> 00:32:54,308
Please let us be together.
I really care about Juliet.
529
00:32:54,342 --> 00:32:56,577
- Uh...
- Mmmm...
530
00:32:56,611 --> 00:32:59,212
Uh...
531
00:33:00,081 --> 00:33:03,083
Oh, Come on, Alucard.
532
00:33:03,117 --> 00:33:06,119
You're an old romantic softie.
533
00:33:07,621 --> 00:33:11,792
Remember when we were young and in love,
like, 1,000 years ago?
534
00:33:13,361 --> 00:33:17,263
Seems like just yesterday we
were drinking King Arthur.
535
00:33:19,233 --> 00:33:21,834
Is that a brand of soda?
536
00:33:21,868 --> 00:33:24,804
Yes, as far as you know.
537
00:33:26,373 --> 00:33:29,175
You can see Juliet
as often as you want.
538
00:33:29,210 --> 00:33:33,813
But remember, I am capable
of unleashing my wrath
539
00:33:33,847 --> 00:33:35,615
as long as I'm not distracted.
540
00:33:35,649 --> 00:33:41,287
Hey, it's not unlimited sauces.
You get one.
541
00:33:42,623 --> 00:33:45,625
Way to unleash that wrath.
542
00:33:45,659 --> 00:33:48,127
You've inspired me, Mr.
and Mrs. Van Heusen.
543
00:33:48,162 --> 00:33:50,396
I'm sure when my parents see
how happy I am with Juliet
544
00:33:50,430 --> 00:33:52,431
they'll be just as
accepting as you are.
545
00:33:54,634 --> 00:33:56,302
Absolutely not.
546
00:33:57,770 --> 00:33:59,070
What are you thinking?
547
00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:00,972
Those people are trying
to steal our business!
548
00:34:01,774 --> 00:34:05,377
We will not let you betray this family,
Justin. I don't care how happy you are.
549
00:34:05,411 --> 00:34:07,112
Well, as a mother,
I care about your happiness.
550
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,714
But as a restaurant owner, I don't.
551
00:34:09,749 --> 00:34:14,151
The Van Heusens were accepting,
loving and tolerant of us.
552
00:34:14,186 --> 00:34:15,853
And they sleep in coffins!
553
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,622
They're actually
roomier than you think.
554
00:34:18,657 --> 00:34:23,928
With the lid open and with bedding,
you barely notice it's a coffin.
555
00:34:26,632 --> 00:34:28,699
I could have never
seen this coming.
556
00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:33,271
Alex, you are officially the
good child of the family.
557
00:34:33,305 --> 00:34:36,308
- "Good child?"
- Mm-hm.
558
00:34:36,342 --> 00:34:39,010
You're calling me the good child?
559
00:34:39,044 --> 00:34:43,648
Think about that.
What has Justin done wrong?
560
00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:46,584
He fell in love with
somebody. Big deal.
561
00:34:46,619 --> 00:34:49,220
I'm the one who's been
trying to get Max sent off
562
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,823
to an undersea camp for the summer.
563
00:34:51,857 --> 00:34:54,225
You're trying to get
rid of your brother?
564
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:56,527
Yeah, but it didn't
really work out.
565
00:34:56,561 --> 00:35:00,631
The, uh, wizard kid's father
actually was a wizard cop.
566
00:35:00,665 --> 00:35:05,203
He recognized my voice from something
else you don't want to know about.
567
00:35:06,873 --> 00:35:11,110
Look, Daddy, Justin should
be allowed to date Juliet
568
00:35:11,144 --> 00:35:15,314
and you guys should be
focused on punishing me
569
00:35:15,348 --> 00:35:18,851
for what I almost did to Max,
and the other thing that I did.
570
00:35:20,587 --> 00:35:23,388
She's right, Jerry.
571
00:35:23,423 --> 00:35:26,358
Our feud with the Van
Heusens has blinded us
572
00:35:26,392 --> 00:35:29,061
to something a little
more important.
573
00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:33,199
Our son's happiness.
574
00:35:33,233 --> 00:35:36,402
Justin, Juliet...
You guys can date.
575
00:35:36,437 --> 00:35:37,870
Yes! Whoo!
576
00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:41,273
- So it's official.
- Not until...
577
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,108
...I write it on the white board.
578
00:35:45,078 --> 00:35:47,079
Some people might find that weird,
579
00:35:47,113 --> 00:35:49,148
but I just think it's charming.
580
00:35:49,182 --> 00:35:50,816
I'll hold the marker cap.
581
00:35:54,087 --> 00:35:56,188
I see what you did here.
582
00:35:56,223 --> 00:35:59,292
You made a sacrifice
for your brother.
583
00:36:00,928 --> 00:36:03,429
You really are the good child.
584
00:36:03,463 --> 00:36:06,065
Daddy, please don't say that.
Makes me uncomfortable.
585
00:36:06,099 --> 00:36:07,666
I know, that's why I'm
gonna keep saying it.
586
00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:08,934
- You're the good child.
- Daddy...
587
00:36:09,302 --> 00:36:11,070
- You're the good child.
- Stop it!
588
00:36:11,104 --> 00:36:12,939
- Alex is good!
- No!
589
00:36:12,973 --> 00:36:14,440
Someone did something good.
It's Alex!
590
00:36:14,909 --> 00:36:17,110
- No, I did not do that!
- Yes! You're good!
591
00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:22,094
And that's the definition
of the word "the."
592
00:36:24,130 --> 00:36:25,797
What's going on?
593
00:36:25,832 --> 00:36:27,766
Alex almost sent you
away to an undersea camp
594
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,601
where everyone rides seahorses.
595
00:36:32,371 --> 00:36:37,041
Oh, my gosh. I would love that!
596
00:36:38,510 --> 00:36:42,013
Oh, Alex, you are a great sister.
You're really great.
597
00:36:42,047 --> 00:36:44,749
I'm gonna work on an
impression of you all summer.
598
00:36:46,319 --> 00:36:48,286
Max, please.
I'm begging you not to.
599
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:52,124
"Max, please.
I'm begging you not to."
600
00:36:52,158 --> 00:36:53,225
Please leave me alone.
601
00:36:54,294 --> 00:36:55,928
"Please leave me alone."
602
00:36:55,962 --> 00:36:57,429
- Stop it!
- "Stop it!"
603
00:36:57,464 --> 00:36:59,298
- Stop!
- "Stop!"
604
00:36:59,348 --> 00:37:03,898
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